Are you fighting the big fights?

I received a wonderful message from a friend this morning on Whatsapp, very simple and deep. It says:

” I once asked a very successful woman to share her secret with me. She smiled and said:

I started succeeding when I started leaving small fights for small fighters.

I stopped fighting those who gossiped about me…

I stopped fighting with my in laws…

I stopped fighting for attention….

I stopped fighting to meet public expectations of me…

I stopped fighting for my rights with stupid people…

I left such fights for those who have nothing else to fight. And I started fighting for my vision…my dreams..my ideas… and my destiny!

the day I gave up on small fights is the day i started becoming successful. “

This short but powerful story (I received it without credits or a source) has really made me pause and reflect: where am I spending my energy? What are the fights worth fighting? why do I allow myself be distracted by small fights that won’t take me anywhere?

The starting point for me is to distinguish the small fights from the big fights so to speak. To do that, I had to be clear on my vision, dreams, and values. Not very easy yet so crucial!

I was able to work on my personal values with a coach last year (see the post on my personal values). This was a milestone. There is no right or wrong way of doing it, but I started anyway. When I finished, I felt more anchored. This could help me immensely when choosing my fights. Also some 10 years ago, I did an exercise to help me articulate my vision for my future. I wrote (in the present tense) describing how my life will be in my forties, what I am doing then? Where I am based? How do I look like and how do I feel? I picked up the letter recently and to my surprise, where I am now is not too far from it! I was so pleased, given that there was a war in my country and my life literally turned upside down because of it. In spite of that, some of things I wrote then are realised today or are close to be. Has this happened because I articulated my vision to myself and to life? ! Having a clear vision will be another useful tool to help me ditch the small fights and focus on the ones worth fighting.

Coaching can help people to focus their energy and efforts on achieving their goals and dreams, on choosing the big fights .

And you? what are your big fights? what is worth your time and energy? I invite you today to focus on the big fights and leave the small fights to small fighters.