Am I Brave?

So I jumped from a plane some 13,000 feet altitude from the ground. I did it!!! Skydiving has always been on my wish list and I have finally done it. I thought I would get cold feet just before the jump and call it off. Once I got on the plane, I was determined and ready. I looked at the view from the plane’s door and was excited but not scared. It felt amazing and passed quickly like a dream. I am grateful for the pictures and video for reminding me that it has actually happened. I posted the pictures on social media and got many compliments from friends and family. ‘You are so brave!’ everyone kept saying. Oh am I brave?… maybe …wow… I never considered myself to be so. I dared and pushed myself once but does that make me BRAVE? How come I can jump out of a plane yet still be scared of things that may or may not happen in the Future?! This jump has challenged my beliefs about my capabilities and bravery.

The instructor with whom I did the jump had jumped 7 times earlier that day. I thought he must be so brave. I asked him: does that mean there is nothing in life that scares you? He laughed: not at all, I am scared of many things…! Two weeks after the jump, I am still excited and feel more confident. Yet, I am still scared of many things. I still have health anxiety. I am still super anxious about the possibility of something bad happening to my family or loved ones.

I am now thinking that probably every person is brave on some level despite their fears. Not everyone would jump out of a plane, but many have confronted difficult situations in their lifetimes which require so much courage. Things that I find a 1000 time more terrifying than skydiving. Things that we do not choose to experience: those who faced the death of their children… those who delt with heartbreak… those who survived cancer… those who live with critical conditions…. those who lost everything and had to start all over again ….those who been through wars and famines….my mother who had to raise three kids on her own after my father suddenly passed away. The examples are endless.

Alright! so my take away is that we can be brave and scared at the same time; these are not mutually exclusive. This is part of the human experience. We are navigating mixed emotions of fear and courage almost every day in our lives. I still have 999 fears to conquer but now I know that my limits are farther than I had thought. I will test my courage every now and then. I will remind myself to face my fears…one by one.